Verily, I say unto you, my Children. The terrible day of reckoning is approaching. Of course, the terrible day to which I refer is December 24th -- the day you will undoubtedly receive the dreaded "Demon Greeting Card". What could be demoniacal about a holiday greeting? I'll explain.
The culprit of which I speak is the Christmas card you receive, (on the24th), from the person to whom you didn't send one. Heavy is the heart when that happens, but I have a solution for you -- and, most times, it won't cost you a penny.
Mail a greeting card to that person just after Christmas, but forget to put a postage stamp on the envelope. One of two things will happen; (1) the post office will deliver it "postage due" to your friend. He'll assume that you mailed it on time, but it sat around in a post office holding bin for a while. Surely, the failure to affix a stamp was an honest mistake on your part. He may think you're cheap, but he won't know that you don't like him anymore.
Or, (2) the post office will return the card to you, (containing a printed notice that you omitted the proper postage). In this case, simply put the whole thing in a larger envelope, affix a stamp and mail it off. He should still receive it before "Little Christmas" (1/6) which will make it okay. Once again, the reason for the delay will be understood, and you'll be forgiven! Actually, this whole exercise will make your greeting even more meaningful.
I know what you're thinking ... "The Parson is a genius! Why didn't I think of that"? You're welcome.
Of course, it goes without saying ... if any of this is illegal, you shouldn't do it! (The lawyers made me say that).
Other Holiday Dilemmas, (ones I cannot help you with, but which we all face annually), will be discussed in my next blog entry, "What to Do ... What to Do ... Merry Christmas, Will Ya?"
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